Yes!!! This exactly! This is what abusive people only *pretend* to do. If they're saying they're disappointed/upset without actually trying to initiate a REAL conversation about precisely why, they're not really giving their target/victim a chance. (As per the example in my story: he was content to seethe but not willing to explain to me *why* he was mad, no matter how much I tried to engage him in a constructive, sensitive discussion about it.)

Thank you for your spot-on insights, Rivka!