Wow, my mind jumped to this phrase as soon as I read your story about the woman crying in the security queue, because I think the two have a very strong connection. I'll try to explain:

I'm from the US, but I've also lived in South America, Asia, and (currently) Europe... and I have to admit that I NEVER realized — until reading your story — that *it is okay* to ask people if we can skip a line in an airport. (Crucial context: the US became exponentially stricter about airports post-2001, to the point that people still feel stressed about the "new" regulations today. Further crucial context: travelers are now asked to pay extra fees for the right to fast and efficient security screening — which makes people see it as a privilege we can't expect if we haven't paid for it.) So when you mentioned that we can make such a request, it was a mind-blowing moment for me, and it got me wondering, "Why did that not even occur to me?"

The only rationalization I could come up with was:

"Well.... this is kind of how US society works: if the rules and standard procedures aren't working out in our favor, no matter how economically crushing the consequences (such as missing a flight and losing the money for that ticket plus the mega-pricey last-minute replacement ticket), we get blamed for the inconvenience and disadvantage, as if these had to be, somewhere along the line, due to our own personal faults.... for which we can't expect others' cooperation or sympathy. We're not supposed to ask others for help or special concessions in a 'bootstraps' world."

(Not that I see life that way, but that is how we're socialized.)

And therein lies the flipside of the (outward) individualism: feeling powerless.

The other flipside: fearing that we will be met with hostility if we request (perfectly reasonable) gestures of help and goodwill. (Just look at the vitriol in the student debt forgiveness debates, or the political venom that surrounds food stamps.)

I'm guessing that this — all of this — is why she didn't even think to ask, and why she acted so mutely stunned when it worked out in her favor. ;)