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It’s not your fault. And that’s why you can’t fix it. (Image by congerdesign from Pixabay)

When Abuse Makes You Think You Hold the Power

Unfair blame breeds a sense of responsibility — and keeps you stuck.

Several days ago, I attended a lecture about domestic violence. The topic drew rather limited attendance, but the small size of the audience had the benefit of opening up a lively and raw discussion. Some women in attendance had worked for nonprofits. Others had experienced abuse themselves. I was in the latter category. And while it’s been over a decade since my last abusive relationship ended, something very clear crystallized for me while I sat there contemplating. Something that had never quite been clear to me before:

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