Very thoughtful piece. I am cis but grew up female in neighboring Pennsylvania, in a blue-collar area, in a neighborhood of nearly all boys. I never felt very "feminine" as a kid or a teen, largely because I didn't dress the part or share stereotypical "feminine" interests (e.g., I preferred sports to dolls, video games to makeup, etc.). So I identified a lot with what you point out about the socialization that revolves around the aesthetics of femininity, as well as the expectation of being blue-collar strong.

But this highlighted part also gave me pause, and also felt relatable: here, still, is the emphasis on female caretaking. The expectation of female nurturance. Tending to children, home, and animals, employment in settings that revolve around care work or food.

Fascinating (and sad) how even in the hard-scrabble places, where impractical clothes are frowned upon as an extravagant indulgence, the much more insidious expectations of "femininity" — beyond what someone is or is not wearing — still persist.

Great read!