This reminds me of an anecdote I read years ago in Viktor Frankl's classic memoir, Man's Search for Meaning. The first part is a Holocaust memoir, but the second part is about his long career as a therapist, and he shares one story at some point about a woman who was sexually abused by her own father but never felt any shame about it until she grew older, learned from others that it should've been happening, and then basically absorbed the shame they all seemed to make her feel like SHE should be experiencing. It's unfortunate that adults often don't know how to speak to children (including teens) in compassionate ways about such experiences, let alone know how to read the warning signs and protect them.

Thank you very much for sharing your story.

Edit: I meant to say she learned that it SHOULDN’T have been happening (i.e., the abuse). But I guess you could also think of it as them telling her that shame “should’ve been” happening. Either way, I’m really glad you understood me correctly the first time!