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How to Reconcile With an Old Flame

Once upon a time, you screwed up. Want another chance? Here’s how to fix things.

Laura Rosell
8 min readJun 20, 2022
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Some people believe in letting bygones be bygones. But if you believe humans are dynamic beings who grow and change, it makes sense that a connection that didn’t work in the past might succeed in the future. I know real-life couples with just that story, including an aunt and uncle who’ve been happily married for over 30 years — after my aunt broke up with him. In other words, reconciliations can totally be worthwhile. They’re also not hard to pull off if everyone involved has been an emotional adult from the beginning.

But what if you met somebody special at a time when you weren’t ready to be a good partner? You’ve likely hurt their feelings… which can make reconnecting a bit trickier.

The good news? Even if your history is complicated, reconciliation is still not impossible. So consider this your lucky day. You’re about to get some pointers — and a template!

The 4 key ingredients to a successful reconciliation:

1. Empathy

Empathy is paramount. You’ve already hurt this person before: once upon a time, you basically looked at what they were offering, and your actions said, “Yeah, um…

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Laura Rosell
Laura Rosell

Written by Laura Rosell

Love, sex, dreams, soul, adventure, healing, feeling. Available for projects. https://ko-fi.com/lmrosell

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