This is an interesting perspective, Nihan, and thank you for sharing it! But I'm confused about the subtitle. Your subtitle says this is "what to do when you are 100% right." But your essay says that no one is ever 100% right.

In reality, sometimes people are 100% right— such as when the other person in a conflict is abusive, and the victim has truly done nothing wrong. This is why couple's therapy can be dangerous, for instance, for an abusive relationship: the couple's counselor tries to encourage both parties to take the blame. But it's toxic and dangerous to encourage a victim to assume any of the blame, and it also validates an abuser's sense of self-righteousness (and their abusive behavior) when the victim acts apologetic. Unfortunately, even in friendships, one party might act abusively and be entirely unjustified in exploding at their friend. In these cases too, an "I'm sorry" is not healthy for the victim to offer.

So I would be very curious: what did you learn at your training about what we should do when we are 100% right? Could you please clarify that?