The type of woman you're describing is toxic, and it's sad that any men settle for those. Unfortunately, practically every woman I know has also encountered toxic men — and many have spent time settling for those men as well (myself included).

Quite simply, the world is full of wounded people, of any gender. Thus, the challenge life presents to those of us who are lucky enough to be emotionally healthy is not to allow those wounded people to become our "standard" and inspire us to set the bar low. Much less to become cynical and bitter and to assume that the toxic types are ALL we will ever be able to find — this is false, and it's quite literally a victim mentality.

The best defense against the pain that wounded people inflict is simply to be authentic, right from the start. That's the only way to screen them out, and to save space for the types who thrive on healthy communication and healthy vulnerability instead.