That sounds terrifying, Katharina. I'm so sorry that you had this sort of experience, and especially sorry you had to downgrade your living conditions in order to find safety. I lost my housing a few years ago to a neighbor's violent psychosis; not the same thing, obviously, but it was scary to reflect on how my finances had kept me stuck for months in what I'd long recognized as a dangerous situation, simply for lack of housing I could afford. This experience definitely comes back to mind whenever I contemplate showing a guy where I live.

As for your other question: I think adoption is wonderful! Some of my very favorite people were adopted, including one of my grandmothers. At the same time, the adopted women in my family who became mothers also had a desire for biological offspring themselves. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for adoption, and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for an adoptee refusing to give up on repeated (failed) pregnancy attempts until she gave birth to at least one biological child who managed to survive. ;) I think that the fact that having biological offspring is such a deeply embedded instinct clear across the animal kingdom is reason enough to recognize it as a fundamental right and to do what we can not to thwart it amongst those who desire it.

In any case, there are also, sadly, tons of barriers to adoption. You're totally right that cost is one, but from country to country, there are also rather unreasonable restrictions by age (e.g., in Germany, I've been too old, for years to adopt) and by marital status (e.g., I recently heard that in Canada, you may only adopt if you're married). This is unfortunate, because it leaves a lot of children around the world without loving parents, and a lot of would-be loving parents childless, purely based on outdated expectations about the structures and timelines of family formation.

Then again, if the economy were less punishing, there'd be fewer people giving their beloved children up for adoption in the first place. I know, for instance, that my grandmother was given up so reluctantly by her impoverished bio-mom that her bio-mom came back to fight for custody via court case... but by then, it was too late. Many parents who give children up for adoption are doing so for economic reasons, which is absolutely heartbreaking.

So I think we need all of this: economic reforms that facilitate partnership and birth, while at the same time reforms in policies regarding adoption.

Thank you so much for such a thought-provoking question! :)