Thanks for your thoughts here. The truth is, even any positive emotions we express — such as joy, or love — render us vulnerable all the same. As long as we're being authentic, we can be made fun of for it, or ill-intentioned people can use what they learn about our genuine joys and desires to manipulate us. I hope that helps answer your question. :)

My grandfather's sentiment was that a real man doesn't worry about others' ridicule, specifically. That's what he meant by "doesn't care what other people think." (Of course a well-adjusted person would care if others' thoughts were ones of compassion.) To most native English speakers, this much is implicit. But hopefully that clarification helps too. :)

Yes, resilience matters a lot. But emotionally mature partners will want to see vulnerability as well. Even before the emotional issue has been handled. Where confidence comes into play even when someone doesn't know how to handle a situation is this: if you open up about something you haven't yet "solved" and don't yet know how to solve, you prove that — WHATEVER happens in that situation — you are brave enough to risk others' negative opinions about it. For instance, if you tell a vulnerable story at a time when you're confused about how to overcome, and you tell that story knowing that someone (emotionally immature) might lose respect for you not being the epitome of cool, or might make fun of you, or might manipulate you with this new knowledge of your true feelings, etc. — you are demonstrating confidence. Strength. Confidence and strength ≠ stoicism. They are about being true to yourself and open honest with others (in kindness), without allowing your fear of their disapproval to censor you.

Paul Palmer needs to do what works for him. But the only way to screen out the emotionally immature women is to behave in genuinely emotionally mature ways. And buttoning up, hiding feelings, etc. ain't it. ;)