Thanks for your interpretation, Christopher. “Had a chance” simply means that these were guys who’d already managed to attract me and pique my interest. Not random guys who simply “thought” about pursuing me, but guys who’d actually made a move, SUCCEEDED — and then killed it. Making a move and succeeding means “having a chance.” The very first paragraph even explains that this is the sort of situation we’re talking about: when you know the woman is interested, and then suddenly she’s not anymore.

It’s been interesting to see that some readers feel triggered by it and the general message of “Emotional intelligence is crucial,” even though I wrote this to help them. Oh well. But I’m glad you enjoyed it!

I’m also glad you see the universal aspect of these insights. Women and other genders can also experience “having/losing a chance,” or exhibit any of these qualities, so no gender bias need be read into it. I just wrote it with the genders that applied to my own experience because, well, I write about my personal experience. :)