Thank you for such an insightful comment, Julian/Giulio. Yes, I completely agree: we all (of any gender) have profound emotional depth, but society doesn't always do a good job of helping us understand how to recognize our value, nor to embrace, process, and express our emotions. I also agree that schools need to be a place where this kind of emotional learning happens. It's so important.

As for why Alex and I aren't together anymore, quite simply he had to move away from Germany. However, at the same time, we've both felt deeper romantic feelings for other people in our pasts, so we're both aware that a more powerful kind of romantic affinity is possible in life. Our love for each other is deep, true, and tender without being particularly romantic. (And I don't equate "romance" with passionate dysfunction either; I'm talking about romance in its most positive sense.) There's also the fact that I sometimes feel like I need to "translate my soul" with Alex, and I have to dial back on expressing some of the parts of myself that feel most important to me, since those vibes don't really resonate with him.

None of this means that I appreciate him any less or that he is inadequate in any way; it's just that there are other types of compatibility that I hope to feel in a life partnership... and he might feel the same. This is why, when distance was going to separate us, we just sort of let the intimate aspect of our relationship dissolve — but absolutely no love has been lost. And if life reconnected us in the future, I could easily see us picking up where we left off. ;)