Thank you for asking this question. I've spent the past few years wondering precisely the same. More to this, I'm still at a loss for how to engage constructively with people who react poorly to *healthy* communication because they have a pathological proneness to feeling slighted or aggrieved. (And yes, these people exist.)
Political tensions in a household or in a relationship don't always come down to the reader engaging in a toxic way. Same with how not all couples' tiffs are a matter of shared fault; sometimes one party is unhinged and/or abusive, and that's truly the entirety of the problem.
So, if the other party literally will not recognize reality for what it is... and is not willing to listen to even the most respectful, healthy, well-reasoned positions (when those positions contradict the propaganda upon which their identities hang)... what then? I think this is the advice we need most of all, and I look forward to seeing articles about it. :)