Thank you, and that's a great question, Nadia. To be honest, the "emotional labor" conversation is not something I have with people preemptively. If they overstep my boundaries or expect too much, I might say something like, "I don't want you to feel bad, but to be honest with you, [X] is not something that I really do much in my relationships." So then they get the idea that, if this is a firm need for them, they will have to seek it elsewhere, because it's clear that I feel no obligation to meet it for them.

Alternatively, if I'm concerned that the other person might be hoping for romantic or sexual intimacy from me, I just tell them outright something like, "Hey, this might be awkward to just put right out there, but I wanted to say it because I'm really bad at reading signals: I don't know what your intentions are, and I'm not making any assumptions, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm not interested in dating anybody right now / I'm only here for [X] purpose. So if you're not on the same page, we don't have to [hang out, work on this project, etc.]." People seem to appreciate that, usually. They'll only really complain if they're immature. ;)

For the most part, though, in the early stages, I just let relationships play out as they will, and I calibrate my emotional distance from the person or initiate important conversations about needs accordingly.

I hope that helps!