Respectfully, I would like to say something here, as someone who earned an MA from a (globally) top-ranked program, where I researched and wrote a thesis on relationship abuse:

Relationship abuse generally starts off as a very subtle thing that escalates in severity and expands in its forms (e.g., from emotional abuse to physical) over time.

Which means: abusive men don't start off by showing the worst of their true colors. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise — who tries to tell you that women fetishize assholery because we view it as "strength" — is clueless and that person is misleading you.

In any event, if a person can't even handle their emotions in a healthy way? That's the opposite of "strength." That's fragility.