Respectfully, I do believe that polyamory can work long-term for some people, BUT I agree with you on the whole basic premise here: that it is extremely important for people to get very honest with themselves about why they're leaning towards any given relationship structure. The current gaslighting / emotional coercion that surrounds pro-polyamory arguments — the arguments that paint it as the "superior" and the more emotionally/spiritually "evolved" choice — makes me concerned also. People can love wholly, openly, and healthily and still be entitled to having personal preferences that narrow their circles of experience, on everything from music to food to home decor to career to, yes, relationships.

Kudos to you for pointing out that relationships shouldn't have to involve heaping loads of major compromise; for reminding people that honoring their own boundaries, needs, preferences, and relationship values is a matter of self-love and self-respect; and for shedding light on the fact that if you have to try very hard to talk yourself into something — feeling inwardly reticent rather than eager and excited — it's veeeeery possibly not a choice that resonates with your core values, needs, and self. Great insights!