Relationships of all kinds certainly have value in their own right. Love — the real deal — is wonderful and doesn’t have to be viewed in purely utilitarian terms at all. That said, which types of “value” any given relationship contributes, and how much, is ultimately a matter of the dynamic itself and of the perspective of the individual who’s examining it. There’s nothing ignoble about pursuing loving partnerships, and they don’t have to be viewed as dead weight. For instance, if I were in a loving partnership during grad school with someone capable of inspiring me to rethink my life choices in a more empowering way (and capable of helping me shoulder the weight of all the changes to follow — so that I could move further, faster), I would have probably written an entirely different essay than this one here. ;) But that wasn’t an option for me, and so, when I look back on my own experience, I prefer to embrace the value in my not having had such a relationship then too. :)

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Love, sex, dreams, soul, adventure, healing, feeling. I kinda experience life as magical. Memoir is my jam.

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