Really great read, Kara, and excellent checklist of questions for the reader to evaluate their own relationship.

Personally, I think that most abusive relationships *do* involve gaslighting, in the sense that an abuser's lies and pivots are often part of a larger pattern designed to destabilize the victim's sense of self-trust — self-trust being sort of the linchpin in a person's vulnerability. In fact, I've been working on a piece lately about how self-trust is so much more important even than self-love. This — and everything you say here — is precisely why.

Thank you for raising awareness of how gaslighting works and what it looks like. Wishing you happy, healthy connections going forward!