Johnny, good conversation, and I'll respond to your other comment in a moment, where I think you're really getting to the heart of the matter (and arguing Ossiana's point). You’re 100% correct that neediness is also a problem, but worry not: I am definitely not confusing it with the “need” to be needed.

Simply put, in a codependent dynamic, Partner A acts like they “need” Partner B. Meanwhile, Partner B gets wrapped up in “needing” to be “needed.” That’s exactly why it’s called “codependency” — it’s two people co-creating an unhealthy dynamic of mutual dependency. It’s not a one-sided thing.

I think maybe you’re conflating (what you’re calling) the “need to be needed” with the fact that all humans want to feel like we belong and are valued. Those wants are are not pathological; they are inherent, and they are healthy. But part of being well-adjusted means building a life wherein we’re not relying on any one person’s attachment to us (i.e., “need” for us) in order to derive our sense of belonging and worth — not even our romantic partner’s/partners’. I do understand how seductive the idea of “needing to be needed” is though; I used to think that way myself until about college. But in reality — a lesson I learned the very hard way — a truly healthy love is never based on what you can do for the other person, or what you can give them. A truly worthwhile partner loves you for who you are as a person, not for the practical assistance you provide.

Anyway, you asked for academic literature. I like people who respect academic literature enough to be interested in it, but tbh, although I edit academic research for a living, compiling sources is not a service I have the energy to provide. LUCKILY though (!), most academics are very happy to offer copies of their published works to you for free, or to point you toward relevant literature. At the following links, some mental health professionals talk about why “needing to be needed” is unhealthy (and is a hallmark — indeed, is fundamental to the very definition — of codependency). You might find these sources interesting and want to reach out and ask the psychologists for their peer-reviewed lit recommendations?

https://steverosephd.com/the-need-to-be-needed/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-codependency-5072124

(If you need, you can also find LOTS more possible leads if you simply Google the phrase: codependency need to be needed )

Good thoughts, and I'll revisit your ideas about gender shortly! :)