It's true that there are patriarchal people of any gender. It's also true that, regardless of our gender, it's up to us to live by non-patriarchal behaviors if we hope to be attractive to partners on the same wavelength as us. I think where the sexes seem to differ is this (or, at least, this is the trend I see in Medium's comment sections and in my own world):

- Woman finds a man who expects her to live by patriarchal values. If she doesn't want a patriarchal partner, she rejects him and moves on. She continues to live as her authentic self so that she can continue repelling sexist suitors and can remain attractive to a more enlightened guy.

- Man finds a woman who expects him to live by patriarchal values. Meanwhile, feminists everywhere loudly proclaim that men really don't need to go along with this nonsense, since we're living in a more feminist world than in the past. No matter — man concludes that patriarchy is all he will ever be capable of finding, so instead of dismissing patriarchal women as non-options, he insists to himself that he MUST mould himself to the preferences of patriarchal women (e.g., eschewing vulnerability).... which only continues to attract more of the same (e.g., sexist women who eschew men's vulnerability).

I'm not really sure why it seems to keep happening like this... BUT I'm glad that Dr. Rodman Whiten (and other writers) are trying to reassure men that they can be much happier and more fulfilled if they simply live their emotional truth — which is exactly how to repel the patriarchal subset of women in the first place! :D