Interesting perspective, Ellen. I feel like what you're talking about is perhaps the difference between fiction vs. memoir. When authors write things "based on real events" but they make up important components of the story — that's fiction. When authors write events as they actually happened, even if they have to do a little bit of condensing of the timeline or the dialogue and such so that the story doesn't get bogged down in superfluous details, that's memoir.

So, for instance, if my first kiss is in a bedroom and I tell you it happened out in the rain, I'm lying, and I have an ethical obligation to tell you that this is fiction. The setting matters very much to the emotional impact (the reader's as they read it, but also the writer's as they supposedly lived it). By contrast, if I honestly present the kiss as happening in a bedroom, but I have to guess at, say, the color of the walls because I can't remember for sure, that's memoir — it doesn't skew the reader's emotional experience, so it's okay to fill in a minor detail that became hazy and still call the story true Because the parts of the story that matter are true. ;)

Then again, if you purposely fabricate something emotionally charged (e.g., pretending to recall wearing an heirloom necklace during the kiss, and playing that detail up when you actually can't remember if you did), this, again, is fiction.

Books on memoir talk a LOT about this: "emotional truth." It's a fascinating discussion. At the end of the day, I write as authentically as possible, and I guess I have my OCD tendencies to thank for that: the prospect of being even accidentally dishonest makes me feel shitty, so I sometimes agonize longer than I should over exactly how to phrase a thing when memory has faded.

As for the idea that real life is boring, I guess it depends on what kinds of experiences real life has thrown each person.... and is it only drama that sells? Depends on the audience. ;)

Really interesting to see how other writers approach the process. Thank you for sharing your experience and your take!