I’m sorry to hear that you can relate, Pamela. Yeah, to be honest, ever since, I have an aversion to the idea of a birthday anniversary. After he reprimanded me for being sexually victimized on a semester abroad and telling me that he couldn’t be with “that kind of person” or some such bullshit phrasing — I was devastated — he eventually started coming around again and finally, after a few weeks of talking and hanging out, asked me at the end of the night on my birthday if he could give me my “other present” now. That “other present” was a kiss. I was over the moon back then. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the red flags leading up to that moment. But ah well, I look at the relationship as a learning experience that I was meant to have. I hope that you feel similarly empowered now that yours is over too. It’s wonderful that you reached a point where you had the clarity and the strength to decide you didn’t need it anymore. I hope that your relationships since have been with wonderful people who treated you with genuine care and respect. Thank you for reading and for sharing your story.