I’m sorry to hear it’s been so hard for you, Lleff, and sorry to hear that the ideas in this essay don’t work for your situation. It’s a hard thing to open up to love again after feeling like it wounded you in the past. If you feel like you need to take time away from the search, there’s absolutely no shame in that. Hearts take time to heal, and it’s wise when people allow themselves that time. I wish you, in that case, love when the time is right — and happiness along the way.