I'm sorry for my long-delayed reply, Morgan, but thank you for sharing your story so vulnerably. I'm so sorry you've been caught up in unrequited love for such a long time. I hope that your marriage is a happy one and has shown you a deeper, more rewarding side of love than you experienced with the one that got away. It's been 12 years of me not feeling resolved with my own situation, so I'm not really sure what to advise. I look at my own situation and see that I'm well-adjusted, I'm open to connections with others, I'm not obsessive, etc. — but still, the unresolved feelings. I guess the heart feels how it feels, and I like to believe there is a wisdom in that, meant to show or teach us something beautiful someday. Whatever that lesson might look like in the end. I wish you peace. :)