I lean towards believing in the concept of twin flames, and I even lean towards believing in the concept of one soul inhabiting multiple bodies (after all, what is Oneness, if not a shared essence?), but I also find all the unhealthy commentary on — and unhealthy definitions of — 'twin flames' very worrisome. I used to run a blog that morphed sort of on its own (as in, I hadn't marketed it this way) into an online space where people used to ask me 'twin flame' questions all the time. I was doing this out of the goodness of my heart, and from a genuine desire to contemplate questions of divine love; asking questions was free, and my blog had no affiliates. However, I eventually burnt out on the emotional labor, and the fact that so many people were using the label while describing painfully unhealthy dynamics contributed greatly to that.

I've written a (very) few pieces on Medium about twin flames since then, trying to change people's minds about the toxic stereotypes, so that they raise their standards for love and don't keep romanticizing dysfunction. But in the end, it seems like.... the people in healthy partnerships are less likely to be out there looking for validating articles in the first place. Meanwhile, people who are suffering in unhealthy dynamics are less likely to feel like a HEALTHY take on twin flames resonates, because, well, their personal experience is sadly not healthy.

I could go on and on about all the reasons why I think people cling to this label, but that's a whole other essay. All in all, it makes me sad that the notion receives such a bad rap, when the concept doesn't have to be dysfunctional at all. :(

Thanks for adding your voice to this, and I'm very glad your friend is out of her dangerous relationship.