I just read your post on 12k of credit card debt, and this one is also eminently relatable. I’ve written a few posts about life lessons from grad school before, and I still feel valuable for what my Ph.D. program taught me that was not about how to crunch numbers.

I remember making the same observation you do here of friends in the program who LOVED the work. We were having entirely different kinds of experiences as a result… and not being “wired” to LOOOOOVE research was simply not something I could control. It took me a few years to come to terms with that; I felt guilt for not being as “productive” or “dedicated” as they were and chalked it up to a personal failing. But in the end, I recognized that we can’t control what we like. And I knew I was doing not just myself but also my graduate program a favor by leaving (they could stop channeling funding towards me). I’ve never regretted walking away.

I was also in grad school for the wrong reasons, but mine had a lot less to do with delaying the “real world” and more to do with coming from a disadvantaged background that wasn’t able to prepare me for embracing my real passions. On the plus side, the experience was an exercise in learning the value in deep, existential dissatisfaction; it serves to point us where we really want to go. ;)