I didn't discover the Power and Control Wheel until after an abusive relationship of mine had ended. It was a similarly eye-opening experience; I finally realized just how broadly abusive that relationship had been. Likewise, this particular ex also got angry that I used to dare to explain my side when he lashed out at me; I was just supposed to take his criticism and let that be that.

People like them need serious help from mental health professionals. Too bad they're so loathe to admit to themselves that they're doing anything wrong. I hope mental healthcare becomes more destigmatized so that they'll seek it.