Great food for thought, June! I hope you continue making the choices about your hair (and your life in general!) that feel most comfortable and authentic for you.

To offer some validation, I'll put my former-anthro-student hat on for a second and point out that humans have been modifying their appearances for MILLENNIA (way, waaaaay before advertising and social media), and yes, this extended to makeup and hair color. Plus, for the majority of our history as a species, it was so rare to see people with predominantly gray hair in the first place — because humans died SO young. (Especially women, thanks to pregnancy and birth.) On that latter note about human lifespans through the ages, it makes complete sense to identify with the hair color you previously had; in other eras, it probably would've been the only color you would have had! ;) So don't get down on yourself for your choices. You have thousands of years of humanity behind you, embracing their preferred aesthetics too.

There's a lot about aging that we can't control. Hair is one of the things that (to some extent) we can. No choice about gray hair is wrong — apart from the choice to discriminate against someone for it. Which you are definitely not doing. Keep rocking any color you please! :)