Definitely resonates, between student loans (undergrad and grad school) and credit card debt for those times like when I wasn’t earning enough but still couldn’t freeze my loan payments (robbing Peter to pay Paul). My debt grew a bit more slowly than the experience you describe, but I also employed the cash-for-immediate-necessities-and-cards-for-all-other-necessities strategy. Nobody wants to, but some of us must.

So much of society equates “worth” with “bank account,” and debt has an insidious way of making you feel like a drain on society, a being of negative value. I’ve dabbled in various odd jobs since leaving my own cushier, more secure path behind, and I ultimately settled into freelance editing… but I’m still working to find a sustainable balance, let alone pay off old debt. That said, I look at how much less healthy I was when I was stressed out in an unfulfilling job… and part of that stress came from how unfulfilling it was. In that sense, despite having more debt at the moment than before, I’m even less of a “burden” on the system now for the fact that my more recent choices — aside from being less lucrative—are, in fact, a LOT healthier.

Here’s to hoping for great success for you, me, and anyone else who reads. Thanks for writing such an honest, relatable essay. :)