Dear Parents: Please Praise Your Child’s Looks
Complimenting your kids on anything BUT looks sends an unhealthy message.
I’ve noticed a troubling trend among millennial parents. I see it in how some of my acquaintances talk about their children on social media. While the parents will gush about practically all the amazing qualities the child has — caring, smart, funny, sweet, inquisitive, strong, athletically gifted, spunky, honest, tenacious, capable, talented, creative, helpful, deep-thinking — they will not, under any circumstances, acknowledge that they think their child is cute or pretty.
As in, they never, ever dare to use words like “adorable,” “beautiful,” or anything related to physical appearance at all.
It’s awkward to watch parents backbend painfully around this issue, saying everything but affirming words about their kid’s physical features. As if a looks-based compliment is a bad compliment to make.
Looks are skin-deep. Subjective. Temporary. I get this. Even more problematic, looks are often weaponized to make people (especially female and femme people) feel bad about themselves. Looks are also sometimes overvalued (again, especially when the face in question belongs to female people) to the extent that other qualities of deeper substance end up overlooked and devalued. I…
