Believe it or not, when Alex first said this to me, I was stunned because I had misunderstood him; I thought the sentiment was EXACTLY what you’ve just summarized. It sounded callous. But once he elaborated, I realized he was just simplifying an extremely important point about respectful boundaries and healthy relating.

“My feelings aren’t your responsibility” means that I, as an adult, am accountable for myself, responsible for minding my emotional welfare, and don’t expect you to sacrifice yours if we don’t happen to share compatible goals. That’s actually pretty healthy.

“No one’s feelings are your responsibility” is admittedly taken to a pathological extreme by too many people… but I wrote this story for the people who take it to the *opposite* pathological extreme: codependent doormats... which I used to be. ;)

Thank you for reading, Fred!