Beautiful, Kitty. You nailed it. This is what a lot of New Age spirituality is about: the recognition that spirituality is about love, that love is divine and limitless and everywhere, and that therefore it suffuses every part of everyone; everyone is divine, and middlemen aren’t required. I’ve known a number of atheists and agnostics over the years who hold extremely spiritual viewpoints and don’t even realize it themselves, and I always find that beautiful.
Spirituality — being about love—is an instinct. Given that humans are prone to errors in judgment and prone to temptations like power and wealth… and prone to the persuasions of fear… sometimes that instinct’s expression becomes corrupted. That’s where the problems come in. But if people could just keep coming back to the core of their faiths, which is love, the world would be a much friendlier, happier place.
As for your healing process with respect to depression, I’m glad you had a transcendental experience in Aachen and wish you many more. That’s the weird (but merciful) thing about mental health issues; you might feel a deep darkness and imagine that it will never be bright again… but life lights a single candle in your world all of an instant, and suddenly there is hope. Or for another metaphor: when dawn breaks over the landscape, suddenly everything has color again, whereas before, you could’ve sworn the world was made of purely shadows. Hence, even when it looks dark or shadowy, you can trust that the color and the joy are still right there, and that being able to see those things again can happen very quickly. I wish you much (sustainable) joy and light.
And sending good thoughts for your stepmother’s healing as well.