Let me count the (many) ways — I say this as a person who did academic research on abuse, and as someone who trained and volunteered in the mental health field: the backlash against “therapy speak” is problematic. “Trauma,” “abuse,” “attachment,” “gaslighting,” “OCD,” “boundaries”… you know the list. Yes, there are people misusing some of these words…

Asking for myself and about 4 billion friends — As a kid, I spent so much time playing sports that when my first period came, I was in the middle of a game of American football with the neighborhood boys. I stopped at home for a bathroom break, noticed some light staining on my underwear, slapped on a pad…

Reincarnation! Spirit communication! Twin flames! — Although I’m a nerd whose day job revolves around the research world, I am very much a mystic at heart — one of those tarot-reading, energy-working, past-life-believing types. …

Complimenting your kids on anything BUT looks sends an unhealthy message. — I’ve noticed a troubling trend among millennial parents. I see it in how some of my acquaintances talk about their children on social media. While the parents will gush about practically all the amazing qualities the child has — caring, smart, funny, sweet, inquisitive, strong, athletically gifted, spunky, honest, tenacious…

I think I saw a case of kink-gone-unethical recently — and it’s bothering me. — Imagine if someone posted, or forced you to post, compromising photos of yourself on a forum of over 100 thousand people. Alongside your full name. While referring to you with a term traditionally used to denigrate people. Some of you might find that mortifying. Some of you might love imagining…

I ask the naysayers: who’s your daddy? — I overheard an exchange years ago between two women I knew. One them was soon to marry, and her friend asked whether she’d be taking her husband’s name. The bride-to-be spewed her condescension thick and fast. Oh, no, she wasn’t taking her husband’s name! What an antiquated position! She was…

What kind of relational choices do you make when you’re sober? — One night at age 19, somewhere around 2 or 3am, I was sober at an afterparty — ever the designated driver — when the guy I loved staggered from our host’s bathroom into her living room, glanced around the sparsely-peopled space, and slurred, from just a few feet away from…

There‘s a lot of nonsense and even a cult out there. Here’s how to be discerning. — I’m a bit of an oddity: although I have an ivory tower research background and have worked as a trained mental health volunteer, I harbor a lot of non-mainstream spiritual beliefs. No, I’m not an ‘aliens are upgrading our DNA!’ …

Sure, I *could* just go all shock-and-awe when the bra comes off — but let me prepare you. — When I had reconstructive surgery for my breasts at age 21, scars felt like a very small price to pay in exchange for the joy of no longer being deformed. I had a congenital breast deformity. Back then, I was with a man who liked my breasts in any iteration…